So, I’m a pretty low energy person. I don’t smile much (I have a scar in my mouth that makes it difficult). I don’t like large crowds (though I’ll put up with one for a good con or concert). I don’t have many friends (my bestie doesn’t even live in the same time zone as me). I hate going out on week nights (I use up way too much social energy at work). My hobbies are reading, writing letters, crafts, video games, and tabletop games (yall knew that already though). I hate playing sports, but love dance, martial arts, and even some weight lifting (I’m not very competitive). In other words I tend to keep to myself…. I’m ok with this. I’ve been this way for years, hell I didn’t hang out with people or date until I lived on my own. I am me, and most days I like me. I’ve learned how to live in a world that caters to extroverts, it just makes me tired.
But, now I have a baby….
I’ve been on convalescence leave for the last two months, so stuck in the house unless work called with something that “omg has to be taken care of right now”. Well, one of those times one of my bosses came into my office, I let her see the baby, we chatted, I thought nothing of it.
The next day she’s on my door step and barges her way into my house. She tells me that when she say me the day before I “didn’t look ok” (She said that to me every time she freakin saw me during my 3rd trimester). Then proceeds to chastise me for the living room being cluttered (between the hubby trying to find a medicine that actually helps his ADHD and my current physical problems, we got a little behind on re-arranging the house the way we want it).She then accused me of leaving my daughter in her bed all day and not interacting with her.
So, she’s all “You seem low energy” “I think you have postpartum depression” “You need to go see mental health” “If I make the appointment for you will you go?” “I just have this gut feeling that something is wrong”
These are the assumptions she had of me even though I 1: told her is was having physical issues 2: my supervisor told her I have always been reserved at work 3: we discussed my hubby’s ADHD 4:I told her I tended not to hang out with coworkers due to drama that had previously caused
All of this was completely ignored. Then again this is the same woman who badgered my friend at work to plan me a baby shower and then “forgot” to show up (eh, like 4 people showed up out of everyone the poor guy invited….I feel guilty I wasted his time…..and remember why I haven’t had a party since I was 11).
Do I need to speak to a mental health professional?
Probably, I’m kind of twisted and some jacked up stuff has happened to me, but….ANY ISSUES I HAVE, HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MY DAUGHTER. Just because you don’t understand my personality doesn’t give you the right to call me a bad mother. I’ve be a quiet, nerdy, goth for a long time; you can’t blame it on my hormones. BEING AN INTROVERT DOES NOT INSTANTLY MAKE ME DEPRESSED!
Sorry for the long rant, I’ll go back to being geeky next time. This has just been bothering me, I was trying to figure out was wrong with me. Why I never “looked ok” to her. Maybe being injured did make me a bad mom. I’m afraid to run into this woman at work.
Screw it, I’m awesome. There’s nothing wrong with being quiet.